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Post by Jan and Shah on Apr 26, 2016 16:27:09 GMT -5
Hi Easttex, I know how it felt to lose Shah for less than 24 hours - it was devastating. I cant even imagine what you are feeling right now. But as the others have said, he had a wonderful life with you. Try and remember the good times you had together and, at the end, he was with someone who loved him.
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Post by Jasper's minion on Apr 26, 2016 19:25:52 GMT -5
I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of Peppy. He fought his hardest to stay. You gave him a wonderful life and he's a peace now.
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Post by aaron on Apr 26, 2016 23:57:11 GMT -5
Thank you, Aaron and Julianna, and everyone, really. I had made up my mind to not allow the necropsy, but in the end decided to let them do a limited one. They will essentially do just what they would have done if he had had the biopsy. Take a tissue sample of the liver, and take a brief look around. It seemed like a reasonable compromise. They all beat their brains out trying to figure out how to treat him, and I hope this will solve the mystery. Maybe someone else's precious companion will benefit from the knowledge gained. I'll post here again with the information I get. I think that's a good choice. I'm certainly curious. And I would think good little Peppy would like to help other birds if he could.  |
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Peppy
Apr 27, 2016 14:35:04 GMT -5
Post by julianna on Apr 27, 2016 14:35:04 GMT -5
Easttex... I can't remember... but can you tell me which one in the banner is Peppy? I always look at the banner when I loggin and I would like to point out Peppy.
Thanks
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Post by Caseysmom on Apr 27, 2016 19:33:50 GMT -5
Easttex... I can't remember... but can you tell me which one in the banner is Peppy? I always look at the banner when I loggin and I would like to point out Peppy. Thanks If I recall, Peppy is the cute little guy stretching his head up to look. .... I think.... |
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Peppy
Apr 27, 2016 23:08:58 GMT -5
Post by aaron on Apr 27, 2016 23:08:58 GMT -5
Yep, that's the one  I love that photo. He adds so much to the banner. |
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Post by easttex on Apr 28, 2016 4:36:08 GMT -5
I always thought he looked like a meerkat on guard duty in that shot. |
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Peppy
Apr 28, 2016 4:57:57 GMT -5
Post by Jan and Shah on Apr 28, 2016 4:57:57 GMT -5
How are you Easttex?
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Post by easttex on Apr 28, 2016 15:46:22 GMT -5
Oh, you know, adjusting. Every day was driven by Peppy's wants and needs and I'm figuring out how to structure my time now. I was doing pretty well keeping everything together when my husband said something about him out of the blue. I had not long before finished cleaning Peppy's cage, and I just cracked. Unfortunately, we had company at the time, and you know how people love that. It was time they went home, anyway. I'm never one to assume that what one of my birds does necessarily means exactly what I want it to mean, so I will describe what Allie did the other evening without interpreting it. Because she can be so touchy about entering a room where things have changed without preparation, I was showing her where I had moved Peppy's cage. She was curious, and then she leaned into me for a bit. She is not normally a cuddly bird, and when she does this sort of thing it is always a prelude to climbing into my shirt or to otherwise get really clingy. Not this time. She stayed there for ten seconds or so and then moved back. I don't know what it was, but it touched me. |
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Post by Jan and Shah on Apr 28, 2016 16:19:44 GMT -5
They can react to your emotion. I know when my sister died, Shah gave me lots of kisses and cuddles. He had never done that before and it only lasted a day - and the only time he has done it since then was when he got lost and I found him. Allie would know of your sadness for Peppy.
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Post by aaron on Apr 29, 2016 11:19:21 GMT -5
There's no question in my mind that Cupcake recognizes sadness and behaves accordingly. She has been known on many occasions to give many kisses to anyone that happens to be crying... also to slow down and observe, become more snuggly, make quiet little sweet sounds, etc. Of course this could be my human interpretation, but it certainly feels like she is aware and sensitive.
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Post by julianna on Apr 29, 2016 13:12:02 GMT -5
Oscar does almost the same thing Aaron. He will get very quiet and just sit there and stare at me.... walk up my arm and then give me little kisses. (he is not fond of the taste of tears... but he does love it when I sweat). I also agree that they are aware and sensitive.
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Post by beccilouise on Apr 29, 2016 16:46:08 GMT -5
Maya definitely recognises when I am sad or vulnerable and I have no doubt that Allie was doing the same, Easttex. I'm sorry you're still finding it tough but am not at all surprised. I genuinely cannot imagine how you must feel. I am a huge believer, though, that we need to give ourselves time to grieve and cry and feel all those things, to be sad, and to not try to suppress or control it all the time. I think it's important that you are allowed to cry. I know some people find it awkward, but it's still important to do what's right for you. I know it doesn't make up for his loss in any way, but I'm glad you have Allie, the other animals and your husband to make sure you are not alone. The worst thing is to lose a loved one and have no one to find comfort with. Please keep us updated with how you are if you feel up to it. Lots of love and warm thoughts. xxx
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Post by easttex on Apr 29, 2016 18:35:39 GMT -5
Thank you, all of you, who continue to express your sympathy and kind words. People who aren't bird people don't really get it.
I got the initial necropsy results. I'm waiting on answers to a few minor questions, but they won't change what I've already learned. The mass, whose origin was always a mystery, is still not quite clear. The vet thought it was either reproductive or liver, but it turns out to be either reproductive or kidney. She could not get any normal testicular tissue that would help her determine which, but it doesn't really matter now. The mass could not have been safely removed. His liver was, no surprise, very diseased, indicating metastasis, she thinks. Also noted was a bruise on his keel, which I can't account for. A couple of times on Saturday, I left him at his open cage door, where he liked to perch, and I found him later on the floor. That was on a rug over a carpet, so I don't know if that caused the bruise, but with his liver condition, she thinks the bleeding may have been the actual cause of death. She also thinks he probably would not have survived the surgery because of his blood not coagulating. If he did survive that, we would have had that discussion about euthanasia while he was on the table, because there was no treatment option, and things were pretty advanced.
Out of all the realistic options (that one where we both expired peacefully in our sleep, on the same day, at a very advanced but healthy old age wasn't in the cards) I suppose it happening at home is not the worst. I wish he had not suffered there at the end.
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Post by aaron on Apr 29, 2016 19:15:44 GMT -5
Out of all the scenarios that could have occurred given this information, I think what happened is fairly desirable (maybe that's the wrong word). It sounds like he did not suffer for too long, and he had you there with him to comfort him when he was sufferring. He didn't have to endure the physical and mental trauma (i know he would have been anethetized, but still) that comes with being operated on, and there's a good chance he would have died, without you, in the operating room. You were able to be with him when he passed, and allowed for the final chapter of his existence to truly affirm your love for one another, which I'm sure is what he would want.
I'm so sorry that he's gone, though. I know it's probably going to be a long road to feeling normal again without him, but us bird people are here for you if you need us. It's true, non-bird people really don't understand the bonds we have with our birds, so they probably aren't very comforting. We're here if you need us.
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I love that photo. He adds so much to the banner.