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Shah
Jul 8, 2015 8:56:33 GMT -5
Post by aaron on Jul 8, 2015 8:56:33 GMT -5
Man, the constant screaming is so tough to deal with. My wife can just ignore it, but for me it pokes at a raw nerve. I practice breathing deeply and visualizing myself calm in the face of screaming, which actually helps, but... it's slow going.
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Post by easttex on Jul 8, 2015 9:03:19 GMT -5
I can pretty well ignore it, too, but my husband has almost zero tolerance. I get more anxious about him than about the birds.  |
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Shah
Jul 8, 2015 9:12:40 GMT -5
Post by aaron on Jul 8, 2015 9:12:40 GMT -5
It's tough. I try very hard to increase my tolerance over time. I try to treat my personal tendencies as malleable, even if they are very hard to adjust and feel like concrete. I'm determined to eventually be able to be at peace even in the face of screaming. I do plan to live with a little bird for several more decades, after all  |
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Post by msdani1981 on Jul 8, 2015 16:15:45 GMT -5
My hubby is the same way. I can tune it out, but he has a really hard time and is constantly yelling at them to "Shut up!" which makes me anxious. He knows that yelling probably encourages the screaming and tries to be patient, but he really can't help himself.
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Shah
Jul 8, 2015 22:06:21 GMT -5
Post by aaron on Jul 8, 2015 22:06:21 GMT -5
Ugh, yeah, from what I can tell, there are those of us who are constantly charged with uncomfortable emotional energy because our general behavior does not lend itself to processing and letting go of things, and this leads to a generally decreased capacity for environmental stress, and really stress in general. I know at a certain point, try as I might I just stop thinking straight when the bird has been screaming at me for a long time, no matter what I do... I have found that slowly, I can change it, if I'm really determined, but it's not easy... it feels like fighting with myself. I never yell at Cupcake, but I do have some moments of clear frustration and anxiety, and I know she feels it, which typically just makes things worse... Proper breathing techniques help a lot, if one can pull them off. I have body pain that makes them very hard for me, but in the past I have found incredible benefits in practicing breath work and proper posture. It totally changes your capacity for stress and ability to think critically under stress.
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Shah
Jul 9, 2015 4:02:33 GMT -5
Post by Jan and Shah on Jul 9, 2015 4:02:33 GMT -5
Took Shah to the vet this morning and burst out crying when I handed him over. He didn't want to stay there. Fortunately, the blockages are breaking down so he was allowed to come home this afternoon. He is now on a really strict diet - no pellets, no more small parrot mix, no more raw cashews. His stomach is compromised so he has to have 2 warm meals a day (vegetables), a tiny bit of organic budgie seed and his fruit and vegetable kabob plus supplements which he has been on since I first got him. He will need to stay on this diet for the rest of his life. It was suggested that he have his meals when I have my meals. I think that is really asking for trouble I still feel really bad as it is my fault he is going through this, however, he is no longer in any discomfort and I am really happy about that (he will be on antibiotics for 5 days to get rid of the bacterial infections). I got an almighty bite this afternoon - I think that was to do with lack of food that he likes. He complained all the way home in the car and spent the rest of the afternoon screaming. I really think that he wants to go to bed early so he can get some sleep. However, there is a slight change in that he is a bit more snuggly than usual. It will be a slow road back to health for him and he will never fully recover but we can certainly make his life a lot easier. He doesn't need to see the vet for a week and that is just to check how the infections are going - not sure if they will take any more blood at this time. |
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Shah
Jul 9, 2015 4:49:43 GMT -5
Post by biteybird on Jul 9, 2015 4:49:43 GMT -5
Wow, that is a really rough trot for both of you. At least he was able to come back home today and you know what the problem is...although the diet will be very restrictive (and time-consuming on your part), let's hope that you get your sweet boy back once the infections are gone.
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Shah
Jul 9, 2015 8:51:42 GMT -5
Post by aaron on Jul 9, 2015 8:51:42 GMT -5
Very glad to hear that the blockages are breakdown and that he is no longer in discomfort... Sorry that things have been so hard. It doesn't sound fun at all. I imagine it will take some time for his behavior to fully change, but it only makes sense that his mood would improve without feeling bad all the time.
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Post by easttex on Jul 9, 2015 8:52:47 GMT -5
Poor guy doesn't have much control over his life lately. It's enough to make anyone a little cranky. Once you get through this and establish a new routine, I'll bet he will adapt. I guess no one is going to be able to stop you from beating yourself up over this. Well, okay, it is your fault, in the sense that we are all 100% responsible for our birds' environment. Still, at worst you made a mistake. You're making up for it, and you're also being brutally honest. That's admirable. How many of us would be defensive and look for all the reasons why we're not really responsible? And who knows how much your experience may help some of the rest of us down the road? |
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Shah
Jul 9, 2015 18:28:35 GMT -5
Post by Sharyn and Mr P on Jul 9, 2015 18:28:35 GMT -5
What Easttex said!
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Post by Jan and Shah on Jul 10, 2015 2:46:41 GMT -5
Thanks guys. Spent part of the day cooking up his new food - he had his first "hot" meal tonight. Don't think he was overly impressed but he will get used to it. He has taken to the budgie seed and still loves his peas and fruit and veg kabob. I am still giving him 2 cashews at night as he looks forward to them. I know I am not supposed to give him nuts so will eventually cut them out. I am just worried about him coping with so many changes. He screamed all day today - he wanted attention - I think he feels a little unstable at the moment. He is quiet now - he seems to look forward to bedtime. We also had dancing today which he loved Easttex is right - the reason I am owning up to this is in the hope that others can avoid the mistakes I have made. These animals depend on us to do the right thing - I thought I was doing the right thing but I was wrong and Shah has to pay the price. I was going to buy him a new cage as I cant find the grate to go into the bottom of his current cage but was a bit concerned with how he would cope with a new cage - in the end I went to the local hardware store and got some thick wire which is now acting as the grate. I cook meals for the dog as she suffers from pancreatitis so cooking for Shah isn't a problem. Plus if we have vegs at night, we will cook extra for him. I love him to pieces even with all the screaming. I can hardly wait until he is better so we can go out and about like we used to do. |
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Post by biteybird on Jul 10, 2015 6:59:32 GMT -5
He's a lucky boy to have you.
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Post by aaron on Jul 10, 2015 9:57:42 GMT -5
You're doing great stuff here Jan. Biteybird is right, he's very lucky to have you.
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Post by Jan and Shah on Jul 10, 2015 17:47:43 GMT -5
Thanks everyone for your good wishes and support. Shah had a hot breakfast (sweet potato, carrot, butternut pumpkin and a bit of rice - all steamed) and you should have heard him making all these sounds. I guess he really enjoyed the warm food. I feel like I am running a 24 hour animal restaurant as the cockatiels are on a special diet as well. Just getting rid of their "naughty food" today - giving it to someone who can use it. It amounted to a large shopping bag so there was a lot of stuff to go. We have people working in the backyard today so have to keep the curtains closed so it doesn't upset Shah as his view is the backyard.
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Post by cnyguy on Jul 10, 2015 20:53:12 GMT -5
This is a stressful time for both you and Shah, and you both have lots of adjustments to make. In time, you'll settle into your new and better routine, and both of you will be able to relax a little. Glad that Shah is not only accepting his warm foods, but actually seems to enjoy them.
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