Quaker attacks my son. Don't know what to do.

Thank you for your response. I do believe that the aggressive behavior started when my son hit my husband ( playing of course) while lily (our Quaker) was perched on my husband. Lily was never aggressive before that. My son and husband like to play fight, wrestle, things that boys do. I do feel that lily sees him as a threat even though he's never done anything directly to harm her. Now the problem is how to stop this pattern.

Body language is very important as easttex said. Your son's body language is important as well. For instance if a quaker bites and you normally react by pulling away, the quaker may see this as a game and continue doing it. Not many quakers learn the word "no". You will need to find another way to stop your quaker from doing unwanted things. With my bird I use a loud "aaaaaaa"... sorta like a growl. For some reason this gets his attention.

If all else fails... if you are the type of person who can... you can always trim the birds wings and get better control... at least for a little while.

Our family includes my 9-year old step daughter, who our QP, Cupcake, will charge at every once in a while, and has been quite aggressive toward in the past...  At this point, the two of them have little to no relationship, because my stepdaughter doesn't currently possess what is necessary to develop a relationship with a parrot.. One of the biggest problems is that she pulls away because she is afraid of being bitten, even when the bird is not going to bite her, which leads to Cupcake giving chase. There have been times where Cupcake was pretty aggressive, and while that is no longer the case, the damage is done, and my stepdaughter has a solid fear of getting bitten. And legitimately so.

Fact is, it can be really hard even for adults to maintain the kind of consistency, patience and control necessary for having a solid relationship with a parrot. I, being a somewhat hyperactive and at times quite anxious person, have actually struggled with this quite a bit. I do believe some kids are capable, but it takes a pretty calm kid, and one that is really understanding, and sadly, willing to be bitten sometimes. This is not my stepdaughter. She's made some progress but we are definitely not there yet, and I am not sure when we will be. For the time being, we do not encourage her to even attempt to handle Cupcake, because we know she will pull away even if Cupcake approaches her with a friendly demeanor, and that just encourages Cupcake's sense of dominance. Every once in a while they have a good moment. Things tend to progress in a good direction. But Cupcake definitely thinks she's boss, and in a lot of ways she is.

The others have given really good advice here... The way your son approaches the bird is extremely critical... He will only be able to turn things around if he is truly able to let go of any tension or animosity he feels toward the bird. These birds are highly sensitive to mood and demeanor, and it's pretty hard to fool them. The better he understands why the bird behaves the way she does, and that she's just following her instincts, and not being a mean bird, the more success you will have, I'd imagine.

My stepdaughter did not understand this at first. She just thought the bird didn't like her, and still feels that way to some degree, although she has much more clarity on why the bird is the way that she is. I think it upsets her, however, to be the only person in the household for whom the bird is not putty in their hands. But she is very cheerful toward Cupcake now, and Cupcake definitely doesn't find her acutely threatening any more.  I just get the impression Cupcake feels dominant and likes to express that sometimes.  To some degree, I'm guessing.  It is a bit of a mystery exactly what Cupcake feels towards my stepdaughter.

At any rate, we have not tolerated aggression from Cupcake towards her. I'm not sure that Cupcake has always understood, but we have always immediately caged her when she has displayed concerted aggression towards or bitten my stepdaughter, and we talk to her sternly about it. In these cases, the bird is never in the cage for more than 3-5 minutes, because I believe any more than that and it becomes counterproductive. They get distracted easily. But I am pretty sure that with so much repetition Cupcake understands that we do not appreciate it. It doesn't mean she doesn't still occasionally bully my stepdaughter though. It's been a while since there was an actual bite, but she still charges and occasionally lashes out with her beak. We don't let Cupcake anywhere near her face, and we make her very aware that Cupcake cannot be trusted, even when she appears to be being sweet.  It certainly does not seem that Cupcake has any desire to truly hurt her at this point, but you really never know.

A few things that have helped over the years-- if your bird is willing to be toweled, you can try playing "warm potato", where the bird is toweled and passed around between all family members.  We also have my stepdaughter give Cupcake treats sometimes out of the blue.  Finally, every night my wife reads to my stepdaughter before bed, and Cupcake is a big part of storytime.  She loves to listen to my wife read, and the three of us having this ritual together has definitely helped with the tension between the two of them.

It's slow going, but I do think there's a good chance they will eventually get along. I could see it taking another five years though.

Sorry, my post is a bit all over the place... I hope it helped somewhat. Please feel free to ask specific questions, and definitely let us know how things progress.

I admire your resolve to work out the difficulties and not just automatically rehome your bird.  That is many people's first response, but it is so unfair to the bird.  They are intelligent and emotional little creatures, and once they've bonded, the separation can be hard on them.  Your son sounds like a special kid.    

As for clipping, different birds take it differently.  It makes them think they are more vulnerable to danger, though in many cases the opposite is true.  Just make sure the clip is not severe.  She needs to be able to glide.  And keep in mind that a clip is no guarantee that she can't escape through an open door or window.  

I hope you will post updates on your progress. 

I too admire your determination to make the situation work. These birds will definitely capture your heart. I cannot imagine our family without Cupcake... none of us can, not even my stepdaughter...

We had some trouble with the one time we clipped Cupcake... I guess the vet clipped her too severely and she fell to the floor and cracked her beak open. We never clipped her again after that. You probably won't have this problem but like Easttex said, make sure it's not a severe clip.

Yes, an Amazon would be much worse, if for no other reason than the fact that the beak is so much bigger.

Please keep us posted as things progress!

Yeah, you definitely don't want to bring her outside even though her wings are clipped. If it is done properly they can get around pretty effectively but just can't make it distances, but a solid gust of wind is enough to propel them quite far away from you if they are outside. If you feel like she is still too mobile you could cut the feathers a bit more, but maybe see how things go before you take that step.

Worth noting that Lily was so effectively distracted by the whole experience that she basically forgot about her issues with your son... It really helps with these birds to go out of your way to give them novel experiences. I'm a big fan of keeping them guessing. They really like routine, and some routine is definitely important, but too much routine and they are liable to get really upset when things change. Cupcake's day to day existence is highly variable, and I really think it helps with her behavior a lot.