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Post by breemom1 on Dec 16, 2014 1:50:31 GMT -5
Since i had all of my back surgery's in June then July of 2013 my little girl seems to really like my daughter more than me.I know is was laid up for a really long time.I was still going to wound care in 2014 because in June they cut me open all the way and left it open because of the Mersa.I didn't handle her at that time because of the pain i was in and also i didn't want to take a chance of getting her sick so my daughter took care of her while i was in the hospital for over two weeks and a lot after that but i always talked to her and purred at her.I hand fed her,and we were really close but now we play,and she dose all her tricks with me and she still cleans my hair but she is more bitey with me and it can get pretty mean at times but as soon as my daughter enters the room i might as well be outside.I know she can sense my pain because my surgery's didn't work and i will never be without pain again but i thought we would reconnect.I have told my daughter that she can't play with her or hold her and for her to ignore her trying to get her to see me as her number1 again but it isn't working.She just lashes out more,she is just a little over one years old now.What can i do,any ideas?This is my first time back on here since the sight has moved and since i have been this sick.I hope someone remembers me,lol and i could REALLY use some advice.Thanks everyone  |
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Post by julianna on Dec 16, 2014 9:41:25 GMT -5
To me it seems you are doing things pretty good. If I was in your situation I would probably try the same things. Just keep feeding her and attempting to play but you must have a lot of patience. She may have bonded with your daughter and that will be hard to break. I do know that qp's can turn on the one they love for no reason and can turn to someone else to be their friend. For example, currently my bird only wants to be with me however, I read that he could change his mind and decide that my hubby should be his best friend and there is not much I would be able to do about this except wait it out and patiently try to gain his confidence again.
They say they dog never bites the hand that feeds it.... but with quakers I do not think that is quite true. Your little girl just needs lots of love and affection from you. If she attacks, then put her down and try again later.
Here is a passage from a book that might help. "it is also quite common for birds that have been previously over bonded to one person to switch loyalties, to over bond to a different person, and to begin attacking the previous favorite. This can be very distressing, especially if the former favorite had not been warned that this was a possibility. These behaviours - all complications of the quaker's instinct to passionately defend bonds - are defeated with practice of step-up exercises and transportation dependence performed by anyone other than the favorite person. The bird is patterned to interact peacefully with multiple individuals by being exposed to appropriate handling by multiple individuals."
Good luck. I hope others with more expertise than me will reply as well as I hope to learn more.
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Post by easttex on Dec 16, 2014 14:06:25 GMT -5
I think julianna captured it very well. They don't let go of bonds easily, except when it is their idea. How long before your daughter moves out? 
One thing I would suggest that is hinted at in the paragraph that julianna quotes is to work on training with her on something new. If done with lots of positive reinforcement, it can really help to establish a bond. Take her to a different room from where she usually stays, and just keep it the two of you. |
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Post by Jan and Shah on Dec 16, 2014 15:46:18 GMT -5
I had this situation a few years ago with Shah. He preferred to be with someone else. I didnt interfere with it but I did offer him to his new love. They didnt want him. After some time, Shah decided that I was No. 1 again. You can take little steps to re-establish the bond you had. Dont rush it - just go back to basics as Juliana has said. She may also be suffering from hormones which turns some of them into little monsters and they do get bitey at that time. Just be patient - she will eventually come around. I am sorry to hear that you have been so unwell and wont ever be pain free.
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Post by sherri on Dec 19, 2014 14:15:49 GMT -5
Don't know if this will help. When I go out of town for the weekend Rascal gets mad at me and bites me when I get back. I give him a shower and let him groom before I handle him again. By then he forgets he is mad at me.
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