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Post by quakerdad55 on Mar 6, 2018 5:49:03 GMT -5
i'm wondering how others qp handled the death and grief of a close family member. my mother passed away 3 yrs ago and my brother 2 yrs ago. my qp,coco. picked up on my vibes during these times.(along with my other birds) he became very possessive of me, moody and withdrawn. he was extremely jealous of my girlfriend and didn't like my attention going to her. he wasn't very sociable to me. my mother was babysitting them while i had to travel to deal with some business. my mother passed away at her home from cardiac arrest in the early morning of the same time as my return home. my birds was in a bedroom near where she passed away. even though they were in a dark room with door shut, lights off and curtains closed, i wonder if the commotion of the coroner,law enforcement and funeral home removal affected them by hearing it all while they were in a powered down mode.my mother took up with my qp,coco and they were good buddies. he really poured out the charm on her. i'm wondering if all that combined as well as my grief sent him into a grief spiral of his own. my other birds,a jenday conure and green cheek conure reacted the same way. 2 years ago, my brother took his life and i noticed the same grief pattern. they've all calmed down with myself included now.
what has been some of your experiences with your qp and other birds when family members passed away? did your birds grieve with you or react with odd or bad behavior?did they just want to cuddle? i'm just wondering. your replies would be appreciated by me.
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Post by julianna on Mar 6, 2018 15:38:00 GMT -5
Well... first I must say that I am truly sorry to hear of all of these passing and how difficult it must be on you and your QP. I know that Quakers do feel emotion and they feel the vibes that come from the one they love the most. Since your mom was close to your little one... I am sure he knows she is gone and will be somewhat withdrawn.
My Mom used to babysit Oscar and when she moved to an old age home... she no longer bird sat him. He never showed any remorse.... probably because I am his partner and loved one... and she was always temporary.
When I am upset and crying... Oscar will sit with me and not move. He watches me but does not want to play or be rubbed or anything. He just sits there and watches.
You know they have feelings... you can tell when they are happy or sad. Unfortunately... we cannot recognize the signs of illness... but still... we do recognize their emotions.
I believe that your Quaker knows something is wrong... and when the coroner and all those people came by.. I would have removed Oscar from that situation... as it can be very stressful for them.. just knowing someone is near their stuff.
When my Mom passed ... Oscar was not around her or any of the dealings with death... but my actions made him realize something was wrong. He was quiet and did not enforce his usual behaviour.
Hope this helps.
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Post by quakerdad55 on Mar 6, 2018 23:10:57 GMT -5
julianna +++ thank you for your reply.yes,these little guys have emotions like we do and express it good or bad.that's one of many things that makes the qp unique and the conures are about the same way but their not as much a talker as the qp is.the morning my mother passed away,i had got home early that morning and went straight to bed. i didn't know my mother had passed until my brother came into my home and woke me up to let me know mom had passed away. i had talked with her the day before, let her know i was on my way back. we talked a few minutes. mom let me know how the babysitting was going and wished me a safe trip back.(last conversation we had about 14 hrs before she passed).i brought my babies back home that afternoon of mom's passing. they all moped around,sad and hurt and grieving with me.they didn't see mom in the hallway floor dead from cardiac arrest and congestive heart failure being w/diabetes complications.i think they do see and hear what's going on around them when in a dark room and in a powered down mode,remember the voices and commotion. my qp coco is finally back to his old personality and the same for the 2 conures. they were almost over mom passing when my brother died 2 yrs ago and the old grief process started over. added to the mix 2 yrs ago was fighting with my ex wife over marital property and alimony. that also worked on them. it's been a rough ride but we're all doing better now. i'm interested in how others and their qp deal with bad things in their life.
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Post by julianna on Mar 10, 2018 14:59:07 GMT -5
Best wishes to you quakerdad... hope time will heal everyone's wounds.
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Post by biteybird on Mar 10, 2018 21:08:17 GMT -5
Hi Quakerdad, I meant to reply earlier.
I don't have any experience with deaths in my immediate household, so I don't know our QP would react.
We did lose a cockatiel about 6 weeks ago, which Bonnie noticed (because they used to call to each other - different cages in different rooms/outdoor aviary for a period of time).
She was a bit subdued for a few days. Our pink Bourke's parrot girl, which shared the outdoor aviary with the cockatiel, was definitely different (quiet) for about a week, then she started tweeting again and seems OK now.
Deaths do affect them, but of course it's hard to know how much and how to help them at the time.
I'm glad you are doing a bit better now and I'm very sorry to hear of your losses.
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