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Post by Jan and Shah on Aug 3, 2015 4:00:59 GMT -5
I don't regret getting Shah - well, he picked me. I cant imagine my life without him. It would have been a very difficult time if it wasn't for this forum. The advice I got from the people nearly 10 years ago was invaluable to helping me understand quaker behaviour. And I still rely on the advice from the forum members. I have talked people out of getting animals over the years - once you explain what is involved, they often change their mind. That is why I spent so much time researching what it would take to care for Izzie. Once you get an animal in your life, it becomes your responsibility - the animal depends on you for absolutely everything.
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Post by aaron on Aug 3, 2015 7:18:08 GMT -5
Yep, it's definitely a for better or for worse kind of relationship with these creatures. We weren't ready for a Quaker either, and we had no idea what we were getting oursevles into. I knew birds to some degree, but nowhere close to enough. We love Cupcake and she brings us so much joy, but it is very challenging and a major test of patience at times.
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Post by aaron on Aug 3, 2015 8:58:26 GMT -5
Even right now, I am sitting at Starbucks working instead of sitting at home because I just didn't feel up to dealing with Cupcake, who clearly woke up grumpy today. I have to head home to recieve a deer park water delivery around 11am (our stupid apartment complex complains if the bottles sit in the hallway for any period of time), so I will have to face it soon enough. Just trying to be ready for it.
I got a chance to read the Barbara Heidenreich article that Easttex posted on birds screaming for attention, and really liked it. One thing that I struggle with is dealing with grumpy noises, though. Cupcake usually precedes her screaming with a period of grumpiness, where she is basically telling me repeatedly that she isn't happy for whatever reason. While these noises are not jarring to the ear at all, I have an emotional response to them because I care so deeply about her well-being, and I generally find them harder to deal with than screaming as a result. If she starts screaming, I have a clear course of action... but when she's in the grumpy phase, I never really know what to do. I don't want to discourage her from communicating, but I don't want to reinforce the behavior. I feel like she can feel my emotional reaction to the grumping, and even if I say or do nothing as a result, she knows she is getting a rise out of me. Sigh.
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Post by Jan and Shah on Aug 3, 2015 17:00:03 GMT -5
Aaron, I know exactly what you are saying about not wanting to be at home - I felt like that every day last week. Shah isnt that grumpy anymore so not sure what to advise you, however, the first thing that came into my mind is that she knows that you are having an emotional reaction. Take a really big breath, let it out and let your energy go with it. They can pick up on energy levels so if you drop your energy, she may settle down. And then start singing or doing something that doesnt involve her and just ignore the behaviour (if you can). I am sure others will have better advice for you but I realised when dealing with Izzie that our energy levels play an important part when we are with animals. Even the dog reacts to my energy levels - if the level is up, she is really difficult to deal with. If I drop it down, she is calm.
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Post by aaron on Aug 3, 2015 22:15:34 GMT -5
Jan, you're totally right. My nerves can get quite wound, and while I do a lot of deep breathing and attempts to let go of things, it can be very challenging for me. I do think she is responding to the fact that my stress level has been unusually high lately. Some days she is fine, and others she is very grumpy. I bet if I charted it, it would often correlate with my stress.
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Post by Jan and Shah on Aug 4, 2015 0:14:21 GMT -5
I actually do an audible sigh when I let my breath out which seems to have more of an impact in dropping the level. Otherwise, alcohol might help  |
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Post by aaron on Aug 4, 2015 13:15:03 GMT -5
I'll give sighing a shot... Haha.. Alcohol helps temporarily and makes it worse later |
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Post by siobhan on Aug 4, 2015 13:16:21 GMT -5
A friend who knows big parrots told me early on that Rocky can feel our pulse through our arms when he is sitting on us (too big to perch on a hand) and that we need to be fully aware of our pulse rate and stress level before we pick him up or he would get tense if we were tense. A tense 'too is a potential bite. That also applies to any other kind of parrot. This morning, for example, I was running late and realized I'd forgotten to turn on the fan in the Birdcage, so I ducked into the room just long enough to do that, Clyde lit on my shoulder and must have picked up on the stress and snarled at me in Quaker and tried to chomp my ear. When I let them out a little before that and wasn't stressed, he gave me a kiss. It's a conscious effort, but it's what you have to do. They don't know WHY you're stressed, or care, but as prey animals, they have to figure if you're stressed it means some kind of danger and they're going to be uptight. And if you're not doing whatever they think you should be doing to offset the danger, the bite is the only way they have of saying, in effect, "HEY! What are we doing to protect ourselves, here? WHY AREN'T YOU DOING SOMETHING???"
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Post by aaron on Aug 4, 2015 13:28:41 GMT -5
All makes a lot of sense. I don't think Cupcake even needs to be sitting on me to know I'm stressed. She picks this up by some other means. Yesterday was a rough day for us... I was really stressed out and she was relentlessly grumpy as a result, and I definitely got visibly frustrated with her several times. Need to work on this. She's mad at me today.  |
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Post by siobhan on Aug 4, 2015 16:17:13 GMT -5
It's also hard on birds to get back into the work week routine when you've been home and available on your days off. That was part of Clyde's problem this morning, and Rocky's as well. They saw the signs that I was going to be gone all day. Rocky knows when I pick up purse and keys that I'm leaving, and Clyde didn't see the purse and keys, but he knew anyway. Clyde definitely gets grumpy when he doesn't get enough Mommy time. Rocky is a bit more forgiving on that front and just gets more needy. Bless my starling; she's always just happy to see me and get whatever attention she gets and doesn't get needy OR grumpy. She's a very zen sort of bird, lives in the moment.
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Post by aaron on Aug 4, 2015 20:38:13 GMT -5
Yeah, Cupcake gets real weird when we are home for an extended period of time. Especially if it's the holiday season and we're home for a week on end... In some ways she seems more balanced when she gets time alone in her cage. Otherwise she gets demanding and fussy.
I'm discovering that Cupcake specifically screams and/or grumps at me when I am here with her alone, and if anyone else is home, she is generally well behaved. Tonight it is just me and my stepdaughter and she has been a perfect angel. When I stopped by and saw her for an hour earlier today, she immediately started screaming at me and was generally grumpy until I left. Not sure what's up with that.
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Post by siobhan on Aug 8, 2015 10:08:06 GMT -5
Hubby tells me that Rocky started shrieking about the time I normally get home last night and didn't stop until I did get home. I was working late and got home more than 2 hours past my usual time, though when you're a reporter, "usual time" is a fluid concept.
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Post by easttex on Aug 8, 2015 11:25:13 GMT -5
Sounds like someone should have his wristwatch taken away. |
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Post by siobhan on Aug 8, 2015 11:57:25 GMT -5
He can see the wall clock from his cage. Taking away his Tweety watch wouldn't do a speck of good.
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