I think joint cuddles and kisses have gone a long way with Cupcake in keeping her from being jealous and/or defensive. And lots of praise when she's friendly to others. She's still very skeptical of strangers, but her ability to be social and friendly with multiple people (once they've passed her entry exam) has really blossomed over the years. Just keep encouraging interaction and looking for every opportunity for her to practice and be praised for being good
Post by beccilouise on Dec 17, 2015 14:15:28 GMT -5
Thanks aaron. That's really encouraging. I need a bit of a moan really. My partner's come home having had a really hard day and seems to have decided he's finding it difficult that I'm spending so much time with Byron. I think this is because Byron has recently become a little more defensive of me and therefore, slightly more hostile towards him. I've said I'll try and spend most of my time with Byron when he is not around but I'm not going to neglect my bird, or my bunny. There is a way to work around this, and it just involves lavishing attention on the boyfriend when he gets home etc etc etc and then sneaking off to spend time with my animals when he's busy with his laptop or his films or whatever. It's fine. Am just finding it really difficult to balance my attention and my time and need a bit of sympathy sorry for the moan. I expect lots of bird owners have had similar experiences given that birds are such affectionate, intelligent, and therefore intense, pets. I should have seen it coming really. Oh well!
Post by Jan and Shah on Dec 17, 2015 15:41:43 GMT -5
I was going out with someone when I got Shah. We had been together for a while, broken off and got back together again. Shah didn't like him. My friend didn't like Shah and was jealous of the time I spent with him. I had to make a choice as the situation was escalating - I still have Shah. As to the human, he found someone else and is now happily married. We stay in touch. I was with a wildlife rescue group for many years and always found it amusing that the boyfriends and husbands felt they were being neglected - one even asked me if he grew fur, would his wife give him more attention. All you can do is to give the boyfriend lots of attention when he is around. See if you can get him involved with Byron - giving him treats, teaching him how to speak, etc. If you make him part of the activities you share with Byron, then he may not feel so neglected. Good luck and let us know how it goes. By the way, any time you want to have a moan, we are all happy to listen and offer our experiences in the hope that it might help.
Post by beccilouise on Dec 17, 2015 18:49:29 GMT -5
Thank you By 'giving treats, teaching him to speak' I assume you're talking about Byron and not the boyfriend? I'm sure it'll be fine. I can't imagine my life without animals in it. I love having living things around to dote on and sometimes animals are just more accepting and forgiving than people. Byron doesn't care if I put on weight or don't have any make up on. He just wants to be with me. My partner is not very good with change, and so will just have to get used to it. This evening he and Byron started to develop quite an amusing rivalry relationship and Byron's daft antics made him laugh, so perhaps there is hope! Relationships of any kind, inter-species or not, are hard. And I'm trying to maintain three AND be an artist! I think I just need to be aware of the feelings of all involved and try to make sure all get as much of my time as I can reasonably give. In a way, I suppose I should be flattered I'm so in demand! Thanks Jan
My partner's come home having had a really hard day and seems to have decided he's finding it difficult that I'm spending so much time with Byron. I think this is because Byron has recently become a little more defensive of me and therefore, slightly more hostile towards him. ….. I expect lots of bird owners have had similar experiences given that birds are such affectionate, intelligent, and therefore intense, pets. I should have seen it coming really.
And welcome to my world (you are not alone!). If hubby has had a hard day at work I know it instantly by his body language…and so does Bonnie. People don't realise how their demeanour affects a quaker. Then add in yelling at the bird to 'shut up' - it does not help!
As I type I'm sitting - with Bonnie - in the end room of the house in 40 degrees Celsius, because hubby doesn't want Bonnie out of her cage in the same room as him (she bites him). To be fair, he did offer to go outside in the shed for a while so she could come out, but he feels the heat much more than I do so I usually offer to let him stay in the air-conditioned lounge room.
It is DEFINITELY a juggling act! But you shouldn't necessarily have seen your situation coming - we didn't, because up until April this year my husband was Bonnie's favourite person. Then she suddenly changed her mind, which was quite hurtful to hubby's feelings.
I guess you have to take it one day at a time and if it comes 'down to the wire' sit down and have a discussion about how everyone can be catered for.
Edit: Oh yeah…giving treats is an excellent strategy to use on spouses/partners, along with some flattery (not TOO overdone or obvious, of course; one must maintain one's standards).
Last Edit: Dec 19, 2015 2:33:48 GMT -5 by biteybird
Post by beccilouise on Dec 18, 2015 3:45:31 GMT -5
Thanks biteybird. I can imagine that would be quite hard for your husband to stop being Bonnie's favourite. I'd be quite upset if Byron did that to me, but you can't stop it, can you? It's just the way they are. To be honest, David spends so little time with Byron, Byron would make a stupid decision to change his mind anyway because he'd never get anywhere near his favourite human! But it does make it difficult when the birds so obviously hate the person you live with.
Byron made his current feelings towards David quite clear yesterday evening. I left David holding him while I went to run him a bath and Byron screamed and screamed as if to say 'why are you leaving me with this moron?'. David had cheered up by this point though, so it was quite funny for everyone. I suppose it must be quite annoying to have to battle with a bird for someone's attention. But from my point of view, I don't really feel that I'm being given much of a chance! I'm sure we'll get used to it. We've not had Byron long and it's a big adaptation for everyone. We'll get there eventually
Oscar will actually go to my hubby now because he knows that he will be brought over to me. ha ha I think all quakers scream when their partner leaves the room because they want to know if you are okay. Perhaps you can develop a whistle to reassure him you are there and okay.
I noticed you mentioned giving him chocolate fingers? Is that real chocolate? I don't think it is good for Quakers and it could hurt them. Just a little advice.
I think Beccilouise may have been training her boyfriend with the chocolate treats...? I let my husband eat all the chocolates I'd been given for Christmas (I don't have a sweet tooth) and his conversation skills have improved from "ay?", "uh-huh" & "yep" to two or three sentences at a time!
Last Edit: Dec 20, 2015 15:55:55 GMT -5 by biteybird
Hahaha, I meant my boyfriend, not Byron! Don't worry, I would never give Byron chocolate. I know it is extremely toxic and I am really careful to check the safety of foods before I feed anything to him. But thanks for your concern. Good to know I've got lots of people looking out for my little boy!